Tora Tora Tory

Important scenes in the Planet of the Apes ser...

You’d have to strap me into a chair and force my eyes open with matchsticks to make me watch any of the Tory conference, but I keep up with current affairs, albeit in a much reduced way since my experimental news diet. I also still follow enough people on the Twitter who were watching the Nasties.

One of them tweeted the interesting thought that within a couple of election cycles, the Tory party is “done for”. It’s something I’ve believed for a while. Their ideology (unfortunately swallowed by the so-called Labour party) is discredited after the financial crash, and their increasingly desperate attempts to grind out profits for their corporate backers by privatising everything that hasn’t been privatised already are pissing a lot of people off. As this article in the Graun reveals, the bastards are getting most of their funding from the gamblers and speculators of the City, which is why all of their policies are about making them richer at the expense of everyone else.

(It’s a head-on-the-table moment, a repellent thought that the mind shies away from: that this country and many others were bankrupted by the gamblers and instead of throwing them in jail, “we” [well, not me, but “we”] elected them to power. The ending of The Planet of the Apes has nothing on this.)

Which is not to say that they (the nasties) aren’t doing a lot of damage in the process of being all washed up. My personal somewhat fatalistic attitude is that things are going to have to get a whole lot worse before the thicker members of the English electorate will wake up or die. I think one of the ways things could get worse would be for Scottish independence to gift the Nasties a couple more election victories, because, let’s face it, the Labour party is being propped up by Scottish and Welsh MPs.

But the Tory party is dying, because the old bastards who represent its grassroots and core voters are dying. With them will die any pretence that the Conservative party stands for anything other than rapacious greed at the expense of working people and the planet in general. The thing about the Tory bastards of the past was that at least they were mostly nasty farmers and stupid working class Tories. Toffs and forelock tuggers. But those are the demographic that are dying off. The ones that remain are the neoliberal banking scumbags who have about as much in common with the little old ladies of the local Conservative Association as I do.

Half of those dumbshit  pensioners are voting UKIP now, anyway, because UKIP’s message about hating foreigners, immigrants, and change is more comforting than the “we have to destroy the country in order to save it” message of the modern Tory party. And once the Nasties are done distracting the dumbshits by kicking and blaming the poor, they’ve really got nothing beyond their core belief that greed is good. They just want to have all the money, to the extent that leaving working class people with any wealth at all is like poison in their veins.

Meanwhile, the Labour party is busy destroying its whole point by breaking its trade union links. Combine that funding apocalypse with the voting apocalypse of an independent Scotland*, and the Labour party is done for, too. Miliband’s vaguely socialist witterings are irrelevant while they toe the austerity line and support ridiculous levels of defence spending (Trident). Which leaves the Green party as the only credible political force: which is exactly why they’re mostly ignored in the media: even UKIP and the BNP got more coverage this conference season.

*I don’t blame the Scots. I’d fucking want to leave the UK too. Imagine being free of the Tories, the Royal Family,  and the Church of England with the stroke of a pen on a ballot paper: heaven. Of course, you’d still have to deal with sectarian hatred and the terrible weather, so ho hum. In fact, you know what? That post-apocalyptic vision of a post-human world ruled by apes is starting to look more and more attractive. Let’s just nuke the whole site from orbit.

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